A Multitude of Masses

Wow, I can't believe it's been three months since I got here. Although it doesn't seem that long, thinking back to when I was waiting in line to get my student card feels like another world. I dont' get lost anymore. I don't have to think about which stop to "alight" at when I'm going home. I don't wonder what's in everything I eat, and I don't even notice the funny smells that bothered me so much when I first got here. Time sure flies.

The last couple of weeks have been pretty mundane. I haven't really done much other than go to school, do my work, eat and sleep. But there is a common theme that underlies everything I do, that is, the presence of others. I cannot find anywhere where I am able to be compeletely alone. I walk to the bus stop surrounded by people. I wait for the bus surrounded by people. I hold my backpack close to my chest on the bus because it is so crowded. I walk to my class surrounded by people. And I head home all in a similar fashion. I live in a <800 sqare ft. apartment with 5 other people, and there are high rises in all directions when I look out the windows of that apartment. Whenever I eat, there is a fight for a table, whenever I take public transportation there is a battle for a seat. I even walked for half an hour around the loathed engineering faculty to find some random room to sit and listen to silence but I could not find anything. There aren't even benches inside, and if there are benches outside they are taken up by you guessed it, people!

Almost every Intervarsity retreat that I've been on has a retreat of silence. And I remember Emmaus my freshman year focused on silence and taking media (i.e. music, internet... etc) fasts. Well, I put on my headphones and turn on some music just to drain out all of the daily noise. It's funny, I put on music to get some silence. I'm really ready to find some alone time. Even now, I am typing on a computer in the library and there are people pacing like vultures ready to claim a seat once a computer opens up. I look out the window and all I see are buildings, people, buildings, and more people. I guess I'm not a city boy. I miss fields, woods, farms, and mountains. I miss just walking in sitting a place where I can't hear anything but nature.

Well, that's about it. I think that I'm going to do something fun this weekend. I'm ready to end this perfunctory streak of routine. I'm sure it will involve people, but at least it won't be studying or going to school. And maybe next week if I search hard enough I can find a place to have a retreat of silence... maybe.